An Introverts Guide to Communication in Relationships

An Introvert’s Guide to Communication in Relationships

Have you ever felt lost and maybe confused, yet unsure about how to communicate your inner world with your significant other? Have you ever been misunderstood or called “too sensitive” by a partner?

These are problems many introverts go through at some point in time. Introverts are people who recharge their energy alone. Their strength lies in focusing inward and putting them in touch with their thoughts and feelings. Introverts tend to prefer smaller groups of 2-3 people rather than being in the middle of a large one.

While some introverts are shy, others are charismatic – they just recharge their batteries through time alone.

Because introverts tend to be in touch with their feelings or highly sensitive, their partners might initially misunderstand them. While being misunderstood might be frustrating at first, there are ways you and your partner can improve the communication in your relationship.

Here’s how to improve your relationship communication as an introvert:

  1. Get to know yourself better. One of the best things you can do as an introvert is to get to know yourself better. Journal daily so you can figure out your strengths and blind spots. Knowing yourself better will help you communicate with your partner and speak up for yourself.
  • What gives you energy?
  • Is there anywhere in life where you feel exhausted?
  1. Accept and compromise. You and your partner are entitled to two different experiences. If you and your partner see things differently, learn where you need to accept and compromise!
  2. Celebrate your strengths. Your strengths as an introvert may be underappreciated or overlooked. Recognize and celebrate your strengths! As an introvert, you probably are:
  • Empathetic. You understand when others need time alone. You have an easy time putting yourself in others’ shoes.
  • Open to be vulnerable. You can be open and transparent about how you feel.
  • Connected. Because you recharge alone and think inward, you can be connected to your body and mind.
  • Listener. You are a great listener and pay attention to others. This might mean you also have a great memory! People might be surprised by the details you tend to remember.
  1. Ask questions. Sometimes, introverts tend to rely on others to lead the conversation. Be curious about how your partner feels, in and out of arguments.
  • What’s coming up for you?
  • How are you feeling?
  • What are your thoughts on [insert topic]?
  1. Give yourself alone time when you need it. If you find yourself needing time or space to process emotions alone, clear your mind, or recharge, create that space for yourself!
  • If you need alone time after an argument, remind your partner you care about them and you would appreciate time to recharge. As a compromise, let them know a deadline for when you can re-approach the discussion with a clear head.
  1. Speak up. Introverts are less likely to speak up because they are used to being in their head. Sometimes, introverts will wait until they are asked before speaking up. You and your partner are a team!
  • When talking about how you feel, make it about you. Try not to point fingers at your partner. Just talk about how you are feeling and what’s coming up for you.
  • Practice in low-stakes situations, like choosing where to eat for dinner. This will make talking about your feelings easier when it comes to the serious stuff.

As an introvert, one of your strengths is your empathy. Taking the time to get to know yourself and your feelings better will help you feel more confident communicating them to your significant other.

Remember, relationships are a partnership! Be transparent with your significant other about how you feel and where you struggle. Together, you can create a plan to thrive, communicate, and flourish.

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